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You’ve all dealt with fans before, right? You have no idea how these people managed to get backstage, but you’re sure you’ll have no problems getting past them.

As you approach, their faces light up. They immediately start chattering excitedly to each other. One of them starts hopping lightly from one foot to the other.

They encircle you immediately, babbling about how much they love you and love your music and can they have a selfie and oh my god, they just love you so much-

But your stage call is drawing nearer. You need to get through them, and fast.

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Design, text, and illustrations © 2018 by Alice Oseman

Read more about bisexual disaster Lister Bird in I Was Born for This by Alice Oseman, a book about fame, fandom, antique knives, London, secret crushes, obsession, glasses of milk, angel wings, fanfiction, flooded woodlands, and being so famous you get mobbed in the street.

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