You just run. You run out of the backstage area and into the nearest bathroom, just making it to the toilet bowl before you are horribly, violently sick. It stings the back of your throat and makes your eyes water.

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This is what you deserve, really.

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You can hear Cecily screeching somewhere behind you, and Jimmy and Rowan shouting your name, and they deserve better than you.

 

They always have.

 

Maybe one day you’ll get your act together and become the professional you really need to be. Or maybe you’ll just get worse and worse until you mess up so bad you end everything.

 

You don’t want to think about that now.

 

You don’t want to think about anything anymore.

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YOU MISSED YOUR PERFORMANCE BECAUSE YOU WERE THROWING UP. YOU HAVE FAILED YOUR MISSION.