“Haven’t you heard of Lister Bird?” you ask the security guard, desperately. “Because that’s me. And I'm going to be late.”

 

The security guard just laughs. “Obviously I’ve heard of Lister Bird,” he says, “and I don’t think someone who looks like you would be him.”

 

You look down at yourself. Okay, fine, you don’t really look your best right now - you’re wearing some old ripped joggers that have unidentifiable stains on them. Your t-shirt is crumpled and you can’t remember whether it was originally yours or Rowan’s. Add that to the fact that you still look drunk and your hair is a mess from your nap, okay, yeah, you don’t really look like an internationally famous megastar.

 

The security guard puts his hand firmly on your shoulder and starts shepherding you down the corridor. “Come on. Time to leave.”

You start to protest, but it’s no use. You’ve messed up.

YOU WERE KICKED OUT OF THE BACKSTAGE AREA AND MISSED YOUR SHOW. YOU HAVE FAILED YOUR MISSION.

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